You know I keep a few boys around my house. We’ve talked about the adoptive parent preference for girls already, so you know my feelings on that topic. I thought with this post I might keep it light for once, and I’ll just tell you what I’ve learned from being a mom of boys. Here is why you should open your heart to a boy.
1. Boys are nurturing and affectionate
Maybe it’s because my husband is a hands-on father. Maybe it’s because I let my boys have access to dolls and kitchen toys. But all of my boys love to nurture their toys, pets, and younger siblings.
Many years ago, I was a La Leche League leader. Mothers used to sit around during the meeting comparing notes on nursing our babies, and repeatedly mothers mentioned that their daughters wanted to eat and run while sons would gaze lovingly into their eyes and want to snuggle. Despite their rough and tumble reputation, boys can cuddle like nobody’s business!
2. Boys love to read
Sure, there is a growing literacy gap. But if you have a home with both mom AND dad love to read, if you enjoy read alouds as a family, and set reasonable limits on electronics, then your sons will love to read.
They might not want to walk with you down memory lane with your beloved Anne of Green Gables, and they not prefer to read sitting motionless on a couch, but they will love to read.
3. They play with dolls, too
If boys don’t play with dolls, how will they learn how to be a good father? I have always kept a few dolls around the house and my sons all voluntarily played with them. Sure, there was a lot more games involving dolly rolling down the stairs in a dump truck than fashion shows. But they also took them for walks in the stroller, cooked them meals, and tucked them into bed with a hug and a kiss. Adopting a boy doesn’t mean you have to miss out on dolls.
4. Sports are not required
I remember a man once commenting that he wasn’t sure about adopting a son because he did not enjoy sports, himself. Do you know what all boys really like to do? Whatever you like to do!
We are not a very sporty family, despite having four boys. We’ve never done any team sports, unless you count marching band. We have enjoyed physical activities such as swimming, biking, and martial arts. My husband has also done stereotypical father/son things like camping, model rockets, and watching games on tv. Not ball games, video games.
Kids just want to spend time with you. If you have family hobbies, they will enjoy those hobbies too, regardless of whether a sport is involved.
5. However, they do like dogs
I mean, I’m not saying it’s guaranteed or anything. But if you have a son then he might talk you into getting him a dog after giving you many sad longing looks while batting his eyelashes and pleading. Even though you don’t like dogs. But if he likes dogs and likes to read then he might begin a quest to find a “boy and his dog” book where the dog doesn’t die in the end. Just theoretically, mind you.
6. And dirt
I’m not saying that boys are naturally dirty. Let’s just call it a love of nature.
Or an inability to leave a good puddle unappreciated.
And, quite frankly, an opportunity for you to make your future daughter-in-law love you by making sure your son knows how to clean up after himself and work a washing machine.
7. And that whole “boys can make a weapon out of anything” stereotype is true, too
Perhaps you, like me, learned in school that gender is determined by societal norms. You will soon learn that even if you ban toy guns, they will make them anyway, even out of things like a giant flower balloon.
Or play dough and a random piece of plastic. You can learn to appreciate a good battle scene, right? You might even find yourself with a large collection of foam swords and Nerf guns one day despite your original intentions.
8. Boys will give you a great reason for blurry pictures
Never been the best photographer? Non-stop action will give you a great excuse for those less than stellar pictures.
In fact, I would say that they’re generally a great reason to relax and enjoy all the fun that life brings.
9. A boy needs a brother
I’ve heard so many people say that they prefer to adopt a girl because their daughter needs a sister.
Let’s not forget that boys need brothers, too.
10. Boys need fathers, and fathers need sons
We live in a time when boys are being overmedicated, failing in schools, and less likely to earn a college degree. It’s hard being a boy today, and nothing will help boys to meet these challenges more than a loving family with a father (or father figure, in the case of single moms) who can be a strong role model. While I’ve heard a lot of women talk about their yearning for a daughter as a primary motivation for adopting a girl, do men not yearn to be father to a son?
Not for macho “carry on the family name” reasons, but because they have the same sort of feelings that women have, although it isn’t as acceptable to say it. There are so many boys out there who are in need of a good father. And I know your husband would make a wonderful father to a son. Don’t you think so, too? Why not give it a try!